Moving

With less than three weeks left in Maryland, much of my thoughts are turned to my upcoming move. At the very beginning of the summer, I was looking forward to this move. I was going back to Texas the only state that at the time had any worth to me. But over the summer, I have realized how much I love the life I am living here. What changed? I don't even know if I can even name all the things that changed. It was such a gradual change, and i didn't fully realize the extent of my feelings toward this move until I had a chance to stay here.
I thought I had found a way I could afford to stay here. I thought I could work it out at work and manage my finances so that I could afford to rent an apartment on my own and be able to make it here on my own. And though I might could, there is too much unknown. I might could make it here, but I'm not for sure and so I have decided not to risk it.
Therefore, it is back to the original plan. I gave notice at work yesterday. My last day is August 8th. I'm leaving a good job, a church, and friends, especially a few VERY close ones. I can't help think that I am leaving behind me the best few months of my life. I can only hope the best will get better. I have an unexplainable feeling that I am making the right decision, but I am afraid that the next few months will be extremely hard. I am scared of starting school that I have never even set foot on, having to find a job in this tough economy, finding a new church, and making new friends. This has to be the hardest move ever. And I am pretty sure it is because for the first time I have the choice of whether or not to move. Before it has always been that the army has told dad where to go and as a family we followed. Although I do feel like this is the right choice, I guess my main underlying feeling is fear apart from the wish not to leave the people here.