Happy New Year

So this started out as a diary entry. It's kinda personal, but I think it's important too. It's an area of my life that could definitely use some improvement, and surely there are other people in the same boat as well.
...I guess normally New Year posts would be about omg! it's 2010 and oh these are my new year resolutions. And mine is to a point. I mean yeah I want to do all the normal stuff that I put down every year like strengthen my relationship with God, lose weight, and overall be a better person. But somehow I manage to forget those come oh I don't know sometime early than February. This year I want to concentrate on one thing that I think will really improve my life and that won't be too hard to remember or even do. If you know much about me, you know I've been hurting a lot in relationships lately. Some of it is certainly self-inflicted from stupid decisions, but some wasn't. But that's not the point. Today I heard a really thought-provoking song at work called, "What Might Have Been" by Little Texas. I'm going to try and remember to post a link to it at the end. It was not the first time I had heard it but it really made me think today. The song is all about what could have been if this guy had ended up marrying someone else. And I realized that sometimes I think about that. Not intentionally, but it's hard not to. So here's the point: I'm going to work on not thinking about that anymore. I mean I can't change what happened in the past to work out how I used to dream they would. And honestly I don't want it to happen that way anymore. The other guys I have dated should have no impact on my life anymore. I'm ready to let go of them all. Kinda like Matthew McConaughey in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past except the opposite. All thinking of this stuff is going to do is poison the current relationship you are in. I'm in an amazing relationship with boy I don't ever want to picture life without. I don't want to ruin that by time-to-time thinking about what would have happened if I was still with so-and-so. So it's definitely time to forget about the pain, love, and other feelings that have to do with those other guys. I mean God is definitely sovereign and there is a reason my life is different right now than what I might have predicted a year ago. I'm positive that once I completely let go of all this, my relationship with Ryan will be so much more amazing that it is right now and more amazing than I could even dream about right now!
And maybe this doesn't only have to do with relationships. There are definitely times that my family or I moved and I didn't necessarily want to, but I got to not think about what could have happend if I had/or had not moved. I can still be friends with those people, but ultimately I need to move forward and let God have the control of my life to live a life that is blessed and fruitful as a Christian that could compare to no other lifestyle as well as just being content with the life that I currently live.

Anyways, happy new year to you all. Let's make 2010 a great year to be alive!
"What Might Have Been" by Little Texas