Texas bound

I am sitting in my hotel room in Clinton, Mississippi thinking about all that has transpired since I last posted. It's been quite a lot. I'll start with last Saturday.

Last Saturday-It was my last day working at chick-fil-a waugh chapel. I'm not really sure you are supposed to be that upset when you leave your job, but whenever your coworkers at your job have become your second family, you are bound to get upset. It's harder than it was last time I went to college. I have grown closer to many of the people there, partly as a result of me coming out of my shell quite a bit over the past year. Also, I knew last time that I would be coming back. This time I am not so sure. Anyways, it was a great day for the most part. I guess as good as it could be. Kayla brought in pink roses, and a little stuffed monkey and a balloon for me. And Tina made me a special gameplan and had everyone sign the back of it. I took my camera to work that day and the day before in order to get pictures with a lot of my friends there. Three o'clock came all too quickly, and I was soon clocking out for the last time.

Sunday-I played Chick-fil-a soccer, and then went to Rita's and hung out with Andy, Ariel, and Bryan P. I had swedish fish rita's. It sounds weird I know, but it was so good. Plus they give you a package of Swedish fish so it's even better. :) Afterwards, I went with my family to meet our friends the Kinkades who we had not seen in 3 years. It was great to see them again. After that, I went to Joey's house to watch a movie with him, Ruthanne and Mike called the soloist. Fairly good movie, but not a favorite. All that was left for the day was staying up till four in the morning to do all that packing I had been procrastinating about.
Monday-I had to get up at 7 to be able to sell my textbooks from summer school at the college. Then came home, finished packing, and loaded up my car. The rest of the day was perfect. Really perfect. Too perfect to even write about. But I did get very upset when I to tell someone special goodbye. My spirits were lifted when I hung out with Tim and Aaron in the pouring down rain in the Chick-Fil-A parking lot. They were fun to be with and made me laugh even though I had to tell them bye too. I got soaked standing outside, but honestly it felt so good. It almost seemed to wash away all the stress and worries. By the time I left there I was laughing. Then I went to Kayla's for the night.
Tuesday-Said bye to Kayla. :'( Picked up my uniforms at the cleaners, dropped them off at chick-fil-a. Ate breakfast at chick-fil-a and said a final goodbye to the people working. I love that the last familiar face I saw in Maryland was Tina's smiling face waving goodbye from the drive-thru window. I miss that place. I drove down to Potomac Mills to meet Mom. From there we drove to Greenville, SC. It was a very emotional day. There were times that I got so incredibly sad just thinking about the fact that I was leaving. Songs would come on the radio that I would sing at Chick-fil-a with my friends and I would have to switch the station. It was hard.
Wednesday (today)-Left South Carolina. I am doing better emotionally. I wish I was at Chick-fil-a working right now instead of in a hotel room bloggin but I am trying to be happy about this. I need to make friends in San Angelo, and people are not going to want to be friends with someone who is depressed. In other news, I decided Alabama is beautiful. Really beautiful. As far as the atmosphere goes, I am glad to be back in the SOUTH!! Even though Maryland is technically considered the South by some people, I'm sorry it's just not the same. I had Sonic for the first time since I left last year. It was so good! I have some pictures that I've taken along the way....

Me On Monday

South Carolina-my windshield is filthy I know.

South Carolina Again.

ATLANTA! HOME OF CHICK-FIL-A

Favorite State So Far is ALABAMA!

THIS made my day. Car in South Carolina. Hard Core Rap was playing. Wondering if I could get my car to look like that. ^_^

Moving

With less than three weeks left in Maryland, much of my thoughts are turned to my upcoming move. At the very beginning of the summer, I was looking forward to this move. I was going back to Texas the only state that at the time had any worth to me. But over the summer, I have realized how much I love the life I am living here. What changed? I don't even know if I can even name all the things that changed. It was such a gradual change, and i didn't fully realize the extent of my feelings toward this move until I had a chance to stay here.
I thought I had found a way I could afford to stay here. I thought I could work it out at work and manage my finances so that I could afford to rent an apartment on my own and be able to make it here on my own. And though I might could, there is too much unknown. I might could make it here, but I'm not for sure and so I have decided not to risk it.
Therefore, it is back to the original plan. I gave notice at work yesterday. My last day is August 8th. I'm leaving a good job, a church, and friends, especially a few VERY close ones. I can't help think that I am leaving behind me the best few months of my life. I can only hope the best will get better. I have an unexplainable feeling that I am making the right decision, but I am afraid that the next few months will be extremely hard. I am scared of starting school that I have never even set foot on, having to find a job in this tough economy, finding a new church, and making new friends. This has to be the hardest move ever. And I am pretty sure it is because for the first time I have the choice of whether or not to move. Before it has always been that the army has told dad where to go and as a family we followed. Although I do feel like this is the right choice, I guess my main underlying feeling is fear apart from the wish not to leave the people here.

Life Right Now.

Hey everyone.
So my family just got back from a mini vacation to Philadelphia and I will try to post a synopsis of that and some pictures later today or tomorrow.
Right now I want to talk about something I'm battling right now. It's called depression.
Yeah unfortunately for much of last week I was either battling or experiencing severe depression. Well severe for me anyways. I've been dealing with it pretty much all semester, but I guess I was so busy that I didn't notice or that I didn't have the time to let it get me down. Well, it pretty much has.
There's been a couple of reasons for this.
I've kinda lately been feeling like it is time to go back to college. Like back to an actual college. I miss the dorm life and being surrounded by college students. Also, I'm ready to be back in Texas in general. Maryland has been great, and I enjoy my friends here and activities, but Texas just feels like home.
Air Force Stuff-Good news! I took my AFOQT (Air Force Officer's Qualifying Test) and passed with a 77. I needed a 15 to pass. Unfortunately I have a difficult decision to make about the Air Force program. Do I want to say in? Not really, but the potential benefits are so overwhelming that it pretty much defies all logic to leave the program. The Question? Do I follow logic or follow my desire to be out in the civillian world?
I'm spiritually dry. I went from being very spiritually active last semester while I was at DBU to be very inactive this semester. Yes, a lot of it prolly had to do with the fact that I was no longer required to attend chapel three days a week, have a New Testament class three days a week, and a Developing a Christian mind class one day a week on top of church every week, but it still has been hard this semester. Everything started off great, but as the semester got busier, and homeowrk assignments became due, I started leaving off the stuff that I should have held onto tighter. And I can pretty much feel the impact of this in every other area of my life. Yeah not good. Plus I really miss my church in Dallas.
Then there's the age old relationship stuff. It's nothing new. I'm just trying to work out heart issues cuz right now I'm pretty lonely. Hopefully this time around I will learn to focus on God and school and work and let God bring the perfect guy into the picture instead of hoping for the guy to come into my life each day. It's like the quote that is becoming cliche thanks to facebook-
"Dance with God and He will let the perfect man cut in." Hopefully I can learn that. Probably not, but maybe. Meanwhile I'll have material for new poetry.
I may have some mild health problems as well. For one thing, the migraines that I thought I was pretty much done with have started coming back. Not really sure why. As well as some stomach/nausea problems.
So anyways. This week is going to be busy since my first summer class starts so hopefully that will help keep my mind off the problems that plagued me last week. Algebra. Ugh. But pictures and stories from Philly coming soon.