Love, School, and More Life

     Today marks the second day of school. Second semester, junior year. I cannot begin to tell you how ready I am to graduate. I often question why I am going to school in the first place. I realize it will be beneficial to me, but I have discovered that I am not the type of person to enjoy school. I can succeed it in sure, but it absolutely takes all my willpower to make me get up in the morning and sit in a classroom for hours upon end. Not to mention the additional time constraint of homework every night. Nevertheless, I must finish what I start.
     This semester will prove to be interesting. I have taken over the Arts and Entertainment pages of the Cameron Collegian. As of yet, I really am not sure what I am doing. All I know is I'm assigning stories to people. Hopefully I get the hang of it soon.
    As for classes, well once again Cameron University fudged up. Switched my advanced speech teacher. I'd have no problems with it except that I'm not really a fan of this teacher. He drives me crazy, but thankfully he was an easy teacher last I had him so maybe my stress level will be lower with him. My other classes are Accounting, Management, News Editing, Newspaper Reporting, and Weight Training. Why weight training? Well, Cameron requires that you take 4 P.E. credits to graduate and it fit in my schedule. No, I'm not trying to scare my brother by being one of those buff women. (He says that is is only fear.)
      On to the good stuff. I honestly thought I would be single for a long time after my last relationship. Scratch that. I wanted to be single for a long time after my last relationship. I was tired of getting hurt over and over again. But sometimes life has other plans.
     I met Jacob the Thursday before New Years. I had just gotten off work, and randomly decided to stop by Buffalo Wild Wings to hang out with friends from church. My friends from church go there every Thursday night after our young adult service. I hadn't planned on going. I was tired, in uniform, but I hadn't been able to go in a few weeks so I told myself I would stop by on the way home for just a few minutes. Well, it's hard to go to BWW on Thursday night without getting some wings so my few minutes went through the window pretty quickly. Good thing I stopped to eat or I might have missed the greatest blessing in my life from the past few weeks. I had known Jacob's brother for a few months, and was supposed to meet Jacob about a month before. Jacob was down from North Carolina visiting his dad and brother. Conversation struck up and we hit it off...
 New Year's Night we started our relationship. Yeah it hasn't been going very long, but there are little things that keep popping up that are serious answers to prayers years prayed. I have no doubt that we will last, that we will be happy, that he will be there with me through thick and thin, and that I can share my life with him. Seriously, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's the kind of guy that pumps the gas and opens the car door for the girl no matter how much she may roll her eyes or tell him he doesn't have to. He's taken the time to get to know my family, adopted my parents as surrogate parents. I could go on and on, but I don't want to... I don't want anybody trying to steal him away haha. :) But my friends have been able to notice a difference in me even over facebook chat or phone how much happier I seem with him than anybody else. One friend remarked that he hasn't seen me this happy in a long time. Thank you God and please let it last.
Other than that, not much is going on here. I look forward to the day when I get a real job and quit serving drinks and appetizers to people on a daily basis. I like being a waitress, but at the same time I hate it. It gets so monotonous. I'm ready to move on, but I don't see that happening until graduation....pooh. So maybe I'll start blogging more to break up the work drone.

A Year?

Wow, it's been almost a year since I published anything on here. Fail. lol. I'm not even going to try and catch anyone reading up on this what's happened in the last year. There would just be too much to explain lol. So I'll just hit the high points.
I'm a junior at Cameron University. Three more regular semesters. WOOHOO! My major is journalism and I am a published reporter. You can read some of my stuff on www.aggiecentral.com
I'm still a waitress but I recently got a new job and will be moving to a new restaurant where the pay should be better.
I'm living with family and I attend an awesome church. Lawton First Assembly-that's where it's at.
For those of you who remember, I used to frequently deal with headaches. Well, they're back. In fact, guess what I did today? Yep, I had to make a trip to the ER. Oh the memories there.
Doctors can't find anything that is wrong so for now it's meds and sucking it up.

But life is good. And I'm blessed. I have a wonderful family and a wonderful church family.
I'm going to try and blog more.

True Beauty

So I was trying to write a scholarship essay. I thought the topic was defining real beauty, but once I got writing I kinda got off the real topic of who is the most beautiful woman to me. So it didn't turn out so good for the essay contest, but it makes for a good blog entry. Unfortunately there's not cash with blogging.

TRUE BEAUTY

Today there is a great deal of focus on the outside characteristics of a woman. We elevate our pop stars and celebrity models in our culture. Young girls, teenagers, and young women look at magazines often times and wish they looked as pretty as the girls on the covers. I think our society also pushes women to look like the girls in the commercials and magazines. Society want women’s faces to be flawless, be thin , have the perfect tan, and own the perfect wardrobe. True beauty is not, however, what can be seen on the outside.
True beauty is more than just appearance. It involves several aspects that will set you apart from other people. It includes a devotion to truth and what you believe. A woman with true beauty does not compromise to be like everyone else. She will have compassion for those less fortunate. She will always desire to be kind, but also have a strong drive to succeed in life. A woman with true beauty values the family and friendships that surround her. She does not base her self-worth on the opinions of others, but instead carries confidence within herself, which is evident by the smile of confidence that can be seen on her face in most situations. A woman with true beauty does try to look nice and will try to stay up-to-date in the fashion trends, but she will do so with a style that expresses her personality instead of only what is trendy at the moment. Furthermore, she does so to improve herself and to look her best at all times, not to impress the world.
Solomon is thought by many to be the wisest man that ever lived. In his collection of proverbs, he includes a description of a virtuous woman. Many of the characteristics that are included in this description apply to my description of a virtuous woman as well. One thing that is emphasized here is her desire to work both in the home for her family and also to earn money. She puts in long hours to ensure that her family’s needs are met and that there is enough cash flowing into the household. Another thing that is included is the fact that she plans ahead. A woman with true beauty is not often caught unaware because she pays attention to her surroundings and plans for the future. Solomon says that a virtuous woman is adorned with honor and is respected and praised by those who know her well. This ties in very well with a woman of true beauty.
Appreciating true beauty comes when someone appreciates the beauty that is found on the outside, but in the end is concerned with the person’s inner characteristics. Too many times, I believe society pushes away people that may not be that glamorous on the outside and never really get to know the amazing person that lies underneath the person’s shell. If, as a society, we paid more attention to the inside characteristics of women and people in general, we would most likely elevate the less corrupt people to high positions. This could revolutionize our business, our politics, our family lives, our nation, and indirectly the world.
True beauty is not sought after by women nearly enough these days. Instead, women seek after the shallow characteristics that can only be seen on the outside. The real beauty, however, comes after finding the gem that is rarely found underneath a woman’s exterior.

Big Decisions Ahead

So I've decided against the air force for now. Not that I'm not interested, it's just not the right time. So there's a relief to some relatives I know. But I am considering other possibilities which would bring about a lot of change in my life. So please pray and I will write more about it later. Also the next 3 weeks of school are going to be redic. like really.

Very Thought Provoking Video

Watch this....Very thought provoking.

Hmmm

So I'm thinking about enrolling in AF ROTC. I'm not really sure what I think about this yet, but we shall see. Please pray for me as I consider this.

Vacation is Over

My fall break is over and I'm sorry to say it but I now have to go back to school, work, and just life in general. Yes, it is back to reality. The classes are back in session, bosses are once again demanding my time, and the complexities of this world can no longer be ignored. Although I love school and DBU, I really enjoyed my time in San Antonio and cannot help but wish fall break could have lasted a little bit longer. Like an extra month or two. Well, right now I really should be cleaning up my room or studying for the exams looming before me. So it's back to the books.

What to Eat first

So this post is going to be totally random....Alright? Good!

I was thinking yesterday as I was eating salad at lunch, why do we eat the cold items first while we let the hot food chill. Think about it. When you are eating a multi-course meal, the proper thing to do is to eat the salad first. Meanwhile, the pasta or whatnot is sitting on the table getting cold. It just doesn't make sense. Should this call for a revolution? So next time you are eating salad and the main course is then only lukewarm, think of this post. Love to all.

I Guess It Hit...

I guess the fact that I am in college and away from home finally hit me today. It took a while, but it has finally sunk in. I realized this while I was in computer class listening as the teacher read off the power point. Maybe that's why fall break is coming up but anyways..this is the shortest blog post ever.

Aaron

So I've been hanging out with Aaron a lot lately. I know him from Chick-Fil-A. We have worked together for over a year, but we didn't really become friends until a couple months ago when our friendship just sort of blossomed, for lack of a better word. He has become one of my closest friends here, but we had not really hung out outside of Chick-Fil-A. So since we both start college in less than a month, we didn't have much time left.
On Sunday, we played soccer together for the Chick-Fil-A tournament. We lost all four games, but we still had a great time. And then he brought me home and we hung out till like 10 that night. We played some games, hung out at the river near my house, and took wacky pictures as you can see from the Slide below. On Monday, we worked together. And then we went to Nexus along with Ryan. Nexus in an alternative worship gathering at my church the first monday of every month. After Nexus was over, Aaron took the part of a gentleman and treated us to Taco Bell. Unfortunately the lobby was closed, so we went through drive-thru and ate out in the parking lot. After that, we really weren't sure what to do especially since it was like 10:00 at night and nothing is really open after that. So we went down to a cemetery and we were going to hang out there, but I chickened out and I'm not ashamed of admitting it. Besides, my mom found out what cemetery we were going to, and she got mad! I don't think she liked the idea of hanging out at the cemetery much anyway. Bright idea Ryan! Anyways, we were going to go to wal-mart after that instead since that is like the only place open, but my parents made me come home. So lame! But anyways, we might do that another time. But I had a great time and wish I wasn't leaving so soon in that respect.

A Change Is Coming...

I am determined to make a change in my life this coming fall.  One for the better.   I have decided that after being in select circles of Maryland society for almost a year now and still without being very acquainted with many people here that I am much too quiet.  I really need to start breaking out of my shell and be more outgoing when I meet people.  Why this fall? Well, in these circles of society, I think the people there already expect me to be quiet and I am not really sure to show them the other side of me.  There is a louder, wilder side of me.  It just usually takes a little while to show.  So when I go to college in the fall, I am going to try to be more outgoing and bubbly from the start.  I think this will be very good for me, but I also know this may be very difficult.  In some ways I feel like it goes against my nature, but if that's what it is going to take to make a lot of new friends, well, I'm just going to have to give it a try.

Fighting Hard

Karis left today.  Well sorta.  She's going to be staying in Virginia until like Saturday so I get to see her on Friday to celebrate the Fourth.  I had a great time with her, but it went by way too quickly.  But soon after she left, I felt the stress and worries streaming back into my thoughts.  She really helped me ignore the stress for a while.  Now, I find myself fighting the urge to get stressed out.  It's not really going to help me in life if I get stressed out.  So I don't really know what the point of stressing about all the STUFF in life is, it just seems to be very difficult not to. But anyways think it will help if I kinda get this stuff out.....So here goes....Totally understand if you skip this post.  

1.  Transcrips have still not reached the colleges-The colleges have been bugging me relentlessly for transcripts  even though they are requested and should arrive there within the next couple of days.  I keep telling them this, but they don't listen very well.  Like yesterday,  I was talking to Dallas Baptist University that morning and I told them that the transcripts were in the mail, and they said they would keep an eye out for them, and then that evening I got a message from them saying they were wondering where my transcripts were.   UGH.

2. Trying to plan a trip to Texas/Missouri/Arkansas/Oklahoma this summer and it is not really falling into place.  We are going to Missouri/Oklahoma to visit colleges.  And Texas and Oklahoma to visit relatives.   My family is also trying to go to Texas to get my driver's license there since it will be easier to renew since I am going to school in that area of the country.  And who wouldn't want a TEXAS driver's license.  (no commenting on this AARON.)  But this more falls under number three.  So you'll have to hold on a minute for that.  Anyways, the trip is not really falling into place like it should be.  And we are supposed to leave this Sunday.  YIKES!

3. So I was going to get a Texas driver's license, but they will not accept my Maryland permit like they originally said they would so I now have to get a Maryland driver's license, and then when I go to Texas I can transfer it to a Texas license.  Thankfully, I only have to take one road test.  But apparently July is a busy time of the year for getting driver's licenses.  So when I tried to schedule my appointment for the road test they didn't have much left.  In fact, I am supposed to be taking the test on the 8th, but it's all the way in Baltimore.  GREAT!!!  So anyways, nervous about the test cuz I really don't have time to fail it.  So it's either now or never.  Well, I guess that's exaggerating it a little bit, but you get the idea.

4.  Still trying to decide what school to go to.  The one I really like (in Brownwood, Texas) looks like it is going to be much more expensive. Figures.  So they are going to have to match the the other colleges or I will not be attending.  And I am definitely going to let them know this.  Do a little negotiating with them.  Can't lose anything.

5.  I only have like 50 days left at home or less.  And then I'm gone.  Only about 30 days in Maryland with all the traveling.  And yes it is exciting, but there is also so much to be done.  It can be overwhelming.  

Anyways, I think that is enough said.  Hopefully the next post won't be so dismal.  But those are 5 of the major things occupying my mind's thought right now.  

But happy 4th to everybody if I don't post again before Friday.  Sorry if you don't stand behind America, but it doesn't change my opinion.  The government definitely doesn't do everything right, but neither do we.  And life in America is much better than life in a lot of other countries.  So....Happy 4th of July!

It's All Over and Done

So yesterday was the BIG DAY!  

It took longer than expected to get ready.  Hair had to be curled.  Nails had to be fixed.  Robe had to be ironed.  But finally it was time to get in the car and go to the church where the ceremony was to be held.  As we are about to turn into the church parking lot, the group in our car noticed that in the field adjacent to the church there is about 25-30 cows grazing in the church.  I guess that is what happens when you graduate in a church on the outskirts of the bustling Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.  It was quite funny however.  Some one made the joke that the chick-fil-a cows came to see graduation.  So thanks to the chick-fil-a cows for this special appearance.  

After arriving, the processional and recessional was ran through one last time.  Then it was time for photos.  Group photos are always so difficult.  It takes forever to get everyone in the correct spot, but hopefully they turned out nice.  

After photos, the only thing left to do was to wait.   We were told to wait for about an hour in the choir room.  Don't ask me why they wanted us to show up that early, but that's what we were told to do.  In the choir room, people played the instruments in the room, talked with the other graduates, or just sat there quietly and waited (like me).  Finally, we lined up and got ready to march in.  

Why do they play "Pomp and Circumstance" for graduations and such.  It sounds so dreary.  I mean I love the song, but it's just doesn't sound very joyous.  But anyways that's a side note.

Special performances were given by those graduates who chose to perform, and then there was a student address, a short address by a pastor, and then it was time for the receiving of the diplomas and the moving of the tassel.  

Probably the biggest difference about this graduation ceremony was that the student was not given the diploma by the school official.  Instead, the student's parents gave out the diploma.  This created a very special interaction between the student and the parents.  It also made it harder for the parents, I think.  Not only did they have to watch their child receive their diploma they also had to be on stage and hand it out.  While students received their diploma, a short bio was read about the student emphasizing future goals and interests and achievements.  My future goals were all wrong, however, for plans have since changed.  But oh well.  Who's going to know?  After all the graduates had received their diplomas,  all that was left was the throwing of the hats and the recessional parade.    And then it was over, all over.  

And now the event I've been preparing for for 17 years is beginning.  In a way, it's already begun, but if you look at it that way, this is like one of the biggest stepping stones in this wonderful, frustrating, emotional, happy game called LIFE.  Now is the time when I will be tested.  Will I sink or swim?

But back to the day....I actually had several friends there at graduation.  Leah Woodrum, Karis Wadsack, and four members of the Smith family.  Thanks so much for coming guys.  It really means a lot to me!  So anyways that's how it went.  It was very good, but afterwards, I have to say I was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted.  Thanks to everyone for all your prayer, support, and encouragement along the way!

*SENIORS 2008*

Not Sad to Say "Goodbye"

Yesterday, I completely finished driver's education. I can say without a doubt I was not sorry to complete this necessary evil. I finished the classroom part of driver's ed in May. I have very fond memories of this class. It was so wonderful that I, in fact, nicknamed it "Drawing Exercise" Class because of the hundreds of doodles found on my notes. In my opinion there were three things that class was good for:

1. Getting a chance to sit down (and almost fall asleep) and think through everything in life.

2. A chance to once again realize that I will never be a famous artist.

3. And I guess there were a few things I learned in the class. BUT not enough to warrant 30 hours in a classroom for 2 weeks. And $375 down the drain.

A few notes about the teacher of the class:

She was very brash. Definitely not afraid to say what she was thinking.

Students were not allowed to use cell phones in class, but she probably received 5-20 calls per class session.

Our breaks were always long so that she could have her smoking break.

She was late at least 20 minutes 3 times, yet we were harshly scolded for being 5 minutes late.

One day she did not even show up for class-not entirely her fault. But it still was frustrating. Especially when you get off work early and drive 15 minutes just to go to this class. And don't forget about the 45 minutes we waited for her to show up. The problem-Her vehicle registration wasn't current so the military police would under no conditions let her on the base. Oh, and of course we were expected to make up this class on her time.

But moving on......

The behind-the-wheel sessions of this class were definitely more exciting, but still undesirable. To complete this class I had to have 3 2-hour sessions. I had one last Tuesday, another one this past Tuesday, and of course the one yesterday. My first instructor was about 10 minutes late. And then she had been busy all morning so she thought she ought to eat a quick lunch before we left. Fine with me....less driving time on my part. She was alright as an instructor, pretty lax, and she talked a lot and let me pick a radio station which made it more enjoyable and less awkward. If only, I could have had her as my second instructor.

My second instructor I have a less than favorable opinion of. For several reasons:

1. She fell asleep on me while I was practicing parallel parking. (I heard her snoring!)

2. She was the final straw that inspired that long vent of frustration posted earlier about homeschooling.

3. She was brash and extremely intimidating-and visibly proud of it!

4. Had to listen to her music-Umm...yeah.

5. She directly told me that I needed to be able to drive so that I could go out and get a job so that I could pay HER social security. Ok, I have a job and that is definitely not the reason I got a job. That might be more of a reason not to get a job. And just because you can't drive doesn't necessarily mean that you cannot work. This to me seemed like a very inappropriate comment.

And then towards the end of one of the longest 2 hours of my life, she repeatedly emphasized how she hoped I had enjoyed this session. Yeah, um....no.

Thankfully, my third instructor was much better. I again was allowed to listen to my choice of radio station. (Makes sense-since this is a paid session.) She was an excellent instructor. The only problem I had with her was that she was Korean. Not that I have anything against Koreans, it was just VERY difficult to understand her through her poor grammar and her heavy accent.

So anyways.....that is my review of my experience with CB services driving school. Not recommended, but they are one of the cheaper places around here. So I guess a lot of people might want to put up with all this stuff.

But the good news. I am that much closer to getting ready for my license!!!! I still need about 30 hours of recorded supervised driving. But all of my instructor pretty much told me that if needed to that we could overlook that. That's good in case I don't get it done before I leave for college. So anyways that is something I've been working on for the past 2 months and was very glad to be done with.

Finishing the Job

So most of you guys probably know that I am graduating this month. June 28. At the moment, I have just about wrapped up with high school coursework. I know it's late, but that's okay. To graduate this year, I had to finish my 2nd year of Spanish. When we went to see my high school evaluator in May, I was told I actually had enough credits to graduate. At the time I had just finished Spanish 1. She told me the only thing lacking for me to graduate with honors was one more year of foreign language. To be honest, I don't think I really expected to actually finish a year of spanish in about a month. But it can be done. And it could have been done a bit faster, but I have a bit of a slacker attitude when it comes to spanish. Especially after doing a couple of lessons a day. So I am almost done with that....have a few worksheets left. Then, I have a couple of days left in government and then I have one more test in economics. Needless to say, I am very excited about finishing up.

So anyway that's where my high school life is at right now.

Decisions.....

I am finding that life's decisions continue to get harder as I get older. The decisions are no longer those decisions that an adult could make in a few seconds but because I was young were much more important to me and instead took longer. The majority of life's decisions right now seem as if they could have a profound impact on my future life. This sometimes instills in me a feeling of intense fear. The power that I have over my life has recently seemed to dramatically increase. Although I the power has always been there, it has been harder to recognize in the past. In some ways it seemed much easier when someone else seemed to hold the strings of my life.

On the other hand, the thought of independence, as it does to many people, is enrapturing to me. Each of these feelings can be so overpowering that I am afraid at many times to make a wrong decision because of the intensity of them. To add to the mix, the confusion of these two conflicting feelings in my mind is sometimes overwhelming. And the harder the decision the more these two perspectives seem to be at war.

Now I am not trying to imply that decision are always unwelcome. Many decisions have very positive effects on the lives of us and those around us. Making these decisions to the best of our ability is our responsibility.
As to the decisions I feel forced to make at this time, I believe future reading of my blog will provide light on my life's decisions.

A Blog?

A blog? Yes, I figured it was time I got a blog. Not sure how this experiment will work, but we'll see. I have a story to tell....just like each one of you. Every one of us has the potential to change the world with our stories. But we can't unless it's out there. Now, whether mine will change the world is unlikely, but hey, you never know. So I'm giving it a shot. I may turn out to be one of those bloggers who doesn't update it for months, but oh well....

Well, for now.....that's enough.