Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Emotional Numbness and Pain

I believe there are two extremes of negative emotional feeling. There is deep emotional pain where you feel everything and there is emotional numbness where you don't feel anything. Lately I cannot decide whether I prefer the emotional numbness or the deep emotional pain. Recent circumstances have caused me to experience this frequently. Some days I feel like I am walking through a fog and there seems to be no way out. Other times I feel a deep piercing pain. I have tried so hard to forget the circumstances but it is incessantly refreshed in my mind. Some days I move forward and forget the incidents, and I think I am done with the feeling for the time being. But then the next day it is back stronger than ever. How can I move past all this when it is constantly refreshed in my mind? This intensity of emotional feeling is new for me and I have not learned how to handle it. The one medicine I have found right now: laughter. I can thank my brother for providing most of this. He can always make me smile. Still I hope that the feeling ends soon and that valuable experience can be gained from this.

No comments: